I’m a Yellow

I am Indonesian, Javanese, as both my parents are. People I know told me that I have typical Javanese face: medium-sized eyes, high cheekbones, and slightly prominent jawline–the common facial features among Javanese. Sounds pretty? Not really, I always think I’ve got a wide face. My face was once looked like a donut with high cheekbones, slightly prominent jawline, and chubby cheeks. The bones came into its perfect shape years later, and the cheeks…well, nothing changed.

High cheekbones refers to the zygomatic bones in the face of primates, which in certain individuals may be more pronounced than others, causing the upper part of the cheeks to jut out and form a line cut into the sides of the face. High cheekbones, forming a symmetrical face shape, are very common in fashion models and are considered a beauty trait. No, I’m not trying to say that I’m beautiful.

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Not the Only One

“Such silence has an actual sound, the sound of disappearance.” ― Suzanne Finnamore, Split: A Memoir of Divorce

I know men and women who have been messing around with other. Some of them have gone through all of this for a quick thrill or a furtive moment of romance. Sometimes they don’t even remember making the decision that tore apart their life. Sometimes they don’t even know they are being unfaithful. Did it ever happen to me? You guess.

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Sexual Compatibility

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Oh I love it when our body tangled together.

Some people use sex to connect, others use it for a release, and others use it to fill a void. I know some people who find that sex is not all that important to them, or at least is not one of their top priorities. The truth is, good sex is very important in maintaining a healthy, happy relationship. If you have ever experienced being with someone where there was either no chemistry or where your energy did not match your partner’s, or where your partner was just not a very skilled lover, then you know what I mean.

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About Love and Compatibility

Love. Freud, for once, got it right. It’s a cornerstone of our humanity; only love protects us enough to grow and change. And increasingly, it’s the lone element absent from our otherwise fortunate lives. Living in a society that satisfies material wants we didn’t even know we had throws into glaringly high relief our need to find acceptance and meaning through deep human contact.

Love remains something we all long for, at least on the receiving end, but that we also seem to have so much trouble finding, or recognizing—or holding onto. And sometimes, letting go of.

Love’s coming, or sad going, is not only the biggest drama of our private lives; it’s on center stage of our public ones too. It is, for example, a guaranteed political flash point: Exactly whose love is entitled to receive civic or religious recognition? And who picks up the pieces when it ends?

Still, anyone who has come within waltzing distance of it, read Jane Austen or Danielle Steel, or listened to Frank Sinatra or Celine Dion, knows there’s no elixir like love.

Admit it. You want this.

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Trust no one. Should we?

I have trust issues. I don’t want to get hurt.

Trust, the act of placing confidence in someone or something else—is a fundamental human experience, necessary for society to function and for any person to be relatively happy. Without it, fear rules. Trust is not an either/or proposition, but a matter of degree, and certain life experiences can impact a person’s ability to trust others.

Often, issues with trust arise based on experiences and interactions in the early phases of life, primarily childhood. A person who did not receive adequate nurturing, affection, and acceptance or who was abused, violated, or mistreated as a child will often find difficulty in establishing trust as an adult. Certain experiences in life have the ability to shape your personality, for better or worse. A former best friend may change the way you make friends, a cheating ex may change the way you enter into a relationship, and the way you behave when in it. Blame daddy issues, blame loser ex from college: some people have what are categorized as overarching “trust issues.” We could argue that anyone who doesn’t want to be hurt has a degree of trust issues. Almost everyone who’s experienced a wounded heart has trust issues.  You’re never quite sure who to believe and you doubt everyone’s motives, from your mom’s to your doctor’s. Unfortunately, these issues can contaminate every area of life.

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“I’m not good at a one-night stand,” Sam Smith said.

Guess it’s true, I’m not good at a one-night stand
But I still need love ’cause I’m just a man
These nights never seem to go to plan
I don’t want you to leave, will you hold my hand?

Oh, won’t you stay with me?
‘Cause you’re all I need
This ain’t love, it’s clear to see
But darling, stay with me

Why am I so emotional?
No, it’s not a good look, gain some self-control
And deep down I know this never works
But you can lay with me so it doesn’t hurt

One-night stand. Hooking up with someone for one night of sex with no strings attached and hoping to never see them again. Those who do this are not suppose to exchange any personal info so they can’t track down and stalk each other later. Sounds inhumane. I always think one-night stand is not something favorable, as I could not quite understand why modern society invented this dating(?) concept.

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Book Review: Princesses Behaving Badly

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You think you know her story. You’ve read the Brothers Grimm, you’ve watched the Disney cartoons, you cheered as these virtuous women lived happily ever after. But the lives of real princesses couldn’t be more different. Sure, many were graceful and benevolent leaders—but just as many were ruthless in their quest for power, and all of them had skeletons rattling in their royal closets. Princess Stephanie von Hohenlohe was a Nazi spy. Empress Elizabeth of the Austro-Hungarian empire slept wearing a mask of raw veal. Princess Olga of Kiev murdered thousands of men, and Princess Rani Lakshmibai waged war on the battlefield, charging into combat with her toddler son strapped to her back. Princesses Behaving Badly offers minibiographies of all these princesses and dozens more. It’s a fascinating read for history buffs, feminists, and anyone seeking a different kind of bedtime story.”

Princesses Behaving Badly is a compilations of mini biographies of real-life princesses. The author, Linda McRobbie tells us the real side of the fairy tale myth where princess live happily ever after. If you’ve read the actual Brothers Grimm fairy tales, a lot of them are dark and gruesome-far from the happily ever after. These selected princesses the author uses are not the conventional, dutiful, and by the book good princesses but rather princesses that have stepped out of their conventions and rules of society and caused a great scandal to the shock of the people of their time. They made choices that prevented them having a happy life.

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