2014

Hello! How have you been?

I’m sorry there’s not much to be read in this blog since I’ve been too busy (lazy?) to write. So many drafts I have in my head but I always got stuck everytime I open the dashboard. *sigh* All I can do is just staring blankly at the monitor. I’m sorry.

To celebrate new year, I decided to change my blog theme to a brighter one. Please tell me whether you like it or not :)

Anyway, happy new year to all of you! May this year be a prosperous year. Stay healthy and happy, everyone!

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The One

She’s staring at the cup lid. She could see steam coming out from green Korean tea she ordered before and keep looking at it as it fades in the air.

He’s late. She talks to herself. Why would he asked for a meeting if he can’t be on-time? She hates latecomers; always. He knew it. It’s been seven years and still, he can’t manage to come on time. What exactly is his trouble with timing? She keeps on thinking to herself, until the corner of her eyes caught a movement.

There he is. Just arrived, standing beside empty seat across her. Gorgeous and tall and tanned skin and well-shaped body of his that could blinded every woman, beg him for a night together. At his thirty, he looks even more gorgeous. Oh… and that smile. That cocky smile of his; who would ever deny the charm of it? The smile that shaped of great-kisser lips.

Quietly he sits, still smiling and staring at her eyes with checking gaze.

“Would you stop? That’s embarrassing,” she says.

“Why? You know I always like looking at you.”

“Don’t you think you’re checking too much?”

“No. In case you want to know, you look gorgeous today. Sensual. As always.”

She could feel her cheeks turning red from unknown heat, so she thanked him quickly. They began to talk a lot. Reminisce their first meeting and the stories after. The ups and downs, the hellos and goodbyes. Oh right, there are so many hellos and goodbyes came along in the stories between them. Hellos and goodbyes that make her keep on asking herself why, make her questioning herself what is wrong and what is going on, make her keep on guessing the reason. Something she finally found not too long ago.

“I miss you,” his words breaks after a long pause, still with his signature smile.

“I know. You’ve told me, in the text, before.”

He laughs. An elegant and adorable laugh that’d never come out from any other man in her life. Not even from her boss. She hates it so much that currently she has to admit to herself: she missed that laugh. His laugh. A laugh that lead the talk even longer, killing herself slowly as they begin to talk about the main story. The neverending story that keeps on coming back, eventhough they’ve tried to end it. So many times.

“I am begging you right now. Come back to me…”

His gaze stabbed her as he throws his plea.

She looked down, saying, “You’ve got so many chances to do that before. But you didn’t take any of it.”

“Now what? Am I a jerk for you?”

“You’re never really after me. I don’t think I should keep holding on you since–”

“I’m after you now.”

She could feel her heart is tearing once again.

“I can’t.”

“Why so?”

“Look… The reason I accepted your request to meet here is no other than to make it clear that… this neverending-tangled story is finally over.”

“That’s a bit rude.”

“I’ve waited for you for a long period of time. I was hanging on your line, waiting to be picked up. I’ve waited too long until one day I decided to stop.”

“You were waiting for me…?”

“Wasn’t it obvious? I said yes whenever you want to meet me. I said okay everytime you want to take me somewhere or want me to visit you or anything else. I always said yes to you.”

“I…”

“But still… I can’t make you stay, though I did ask you for it. You do appear only when you want to see me and disappear right away after that. I could never make you stay, so I let you go.”

“You could.”

“I’m afraid that’s too late.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Maybe in another life, I could make you stay.”

“Why in another life? Why not in this life?”

He touches her fingertips, tries to caress it.

“Because in another life, you’d see me. More than you did.”

“Is it about the timing, again?”

Silence breaks between them. The wall clock is ticking loudly behind, makes the silence even more torturing.

She inhales a little before throwing her last ammo, “I don’t know why you’re so bad at timing and always be the one who come late to pick me. I am getting married. Goodbye, D.”

No single word comes from his mouth as she grabs her purse and walks away from their table. She doesn’t wait for it. She knows he won’t say a thing when he shouldn’t, as well as she knows that he could always find a way when he needs one. She knew it as she walks out from the cafe’s door, whispering, “See you when I see you.”

Five Months

I was too busy–and too lazy–to update my blog, lately.

But hey, hello. How are you? Doing good?

It’s been five months since I decided to move to Jakarta, the busiest city in Indonesia. Or so they said. Working for an advertising agency and mind social media accounts makes me busy as a bee.

I was afraid of this city. Sort of hate it, I might say.

But you can never predict the future, right? I got an interesting offer from a very interesting company, a multinational one, decided to take it because it was too precious to leave it and now… here I am, in a city I used to hate. Hahahaha.

Four years ago, I would never imagine I could live here. The traffic jam, the weather, the five-years flood, the scary people I’ve watched on TV… who would ever want to live in a such messed-up place? But then I realize, the only way I can fulfill my dreams is to stay and work in Jakarta. What dreams? I’m not telling :P Then, in 2010, I started to write on a bright-colored post-it note, “Kerja di Jakarta.” I put it on an easily seen place, right after my desktop PC in my small room.

Seems like God granted my wish gradually. I met new people and started to build to network; most of them are living in Jakarta.  Some old men say, you could fulfill your own wish by meeting the right people. And that’s definitely correct since they gave me a lot of insights about Jakarta and helped me a lot in planning things if I live in Jakarta someday. Some plans aren’t going well, though. But still, I can survive within these five months. Hahaha.

So if somebody ever asked me, “How’s Jakarta?”

I’d answer, “Good. Not a very beautiful city with the traffic jam and the flood, of course; but you can still make a living here.”

I like this city, I like the traffic jam, I like the weather, I like the flood (since you can back from work earlier) and I like being busy. It’s just… I can’t avoid the feeling of being lonely in this crowded city.

But hey, who can? :)

Kuserahkan Putriku Padamu – A Note

Saat pertama kali putri kecil kami terlahir di dunia, dia menjadi simbol kebahagiaan bagi kami, orang tuanya. Bahagia yang tiada tara kami rasakan karenanya. Kami menjaganya siang dan malam, sampai kami melupakan keadaan diri sendiri. Kami sadar, memang seharusnyalah seperti itu kewajiban orang tua.

Kami besarkan dia dengan segenap jiwa dan raga. Kami didik dengan semaksimal ilmu yang kami punya. Dan kami jaga dia dengan penuh kehati-hatian.

Dan waktupun berlalu…

Dia kini telah menjadi sesosok gadis yang cantik. Betapa bangga kami memilikinya. Kami berpikir, betapa cepat waktu berlalu, dan terbersit dalam hati kami untuk tetap menahannnya di sini. Bukan bermaksud meletakkan ego kami atas hidupnya, Namun sebagai orang tua, siapa yang dapat berpisah dari anaknya. Putri kesayangannnya.

Tapi…

Hari ini, akhirnya datang juga. Saat dimana kami harus melihatnya terbalut dalam pakaian cantik, yaitu gaun pengantinnya. Gadis kecil kami telah tumbuh dewasa. Dan sesudah ijab kabul ini, kau lah kini yang menjadi penjaganya. Menggantikan kami. Mari ikatkan tanganmu kepadanya.

Waktu akhirnya memaksa kami berpisah dengannya. Walaupun kau adalah orang yang asing dan baru sebentar dikenalnya, sedangkan kami adalah orang tuanya yang telah mengorbankan semua yang kami punya untuknya. Namun, tak ada sama sekali kemarahan kami atas dirimu, menantuku. Namun izinkan kami sedikit meluapkan kesedihan atas seorang putri kami yang harus jauh meninggalkan kami, karena harus mengikutimu. Kamipun tak akan protes kepadamu, karena mulai hari ini, dia harus mengutamakan kau di atas kami.

Tolong, jangan beratkan hatinya, karena sebenarnya pun hatinya telah berat untuk meninggalkan kami dan hanya mengabdi kepadamu. Seperti halnya anak yang ingin berbakti kepada orang tua, pun demikian dengannya. Kami tidak keberatan apabila harus sendiri, tanpa ada gadis kecil kami dulu yang selalu menemani dan menolong kami di masa tua.

Kami menikahkanmu dengan anak gadis kami dan memberikan kepadamu dengan cuma- cuma, kami hanya memohon untuk dia selalu kau jaga dan kau bahagiakan.

Jangan sakiti hatinya, karena hal itu berarti pula akan menyakiti kami. Dia kami besarkan dengan segenap jiwa raga, untuk menjadi penopang harapan kami di masa depan, untuk mengangkat kehormatan dan derajat kami. Namun kini kami harus menitipkannya kepadamu. Kami tidaklah keberatan, karena berarti terjagalah kehormatan putri kami.

Jika kau tak berkenan atas kekurangannya, ingatkanlah dia dengan cara yang baik, mohon jangan sakiti dia, sekali lagi, jangan sakiti dia.

Suatu saat dia menangis karena merasa kasihan dengan kami yang mulai menua, namun harus sendiri berdua disini, tanpa ada kehadirannya lagi. Tahukah engkau wahai menantuku, bahwa kau pun memiliki orang tua, pun dengan istrimu ini. Disaat kau perintahkan dia untuk menemani orang tuamu disana, pernahkah kau berpikir betapa luasnya hati istrimu? Dia mengorbankan egonya sendiri untuk tetap berada disamping orang tuamu, menjaga dan merawat mereka, sedang kami tahu betapa sedih dia karena dengan itu berarti orang tuanya sendiri, harus sendiri. Sama sekali tiada keluh kesah darinya tentang semua itu, karena semua adalah untuk menepati kewajibannya kepada Allah.

Dia mementingkan dirimu dan hanya bisa mengirim doa kepada kami dari jauh. Jujur, sedih hati kami saat jauh darinya. Namun apalah daya kami, memang sudah masa seharusnya seperti itu, kau lebih berhak atasnya dari pada kami, orang tuanya sendiri.

Maka hargailah dia yang telah dengan rela mengabdi kepadamu. Maka hiburlah dia yang telah membuat keputusan yang sedemikian sulit. Maka sayangilah dia atas semua pengorbanannya yang hanya demi dirimu. Begitulah cantiknya putri kami, Semoga kau mengetahui betapa berharganya istrimu itu, jika kau menyadari.

I don’t know exactly who wrote this. But this note rips my heart and make me even more afraid of marriage and leave my parents.

A Small Gift and A Farewell

Langit Yogyakarta dihiasi mendung tebal menggelayut. Meski sepertinya hujan deras akan segera turun, kenyataannya tak ada satu titik air pun yang jatuh sejak pagi.

Cuaca semacam ini tidak pernah gagal membuat saya merasa ngelangut, apalagi saya seringkali sendirian di kamar. Bahasa kerennya anak Twitter sih, mendung bikin galau.

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English, Please

Hello :D

I’ve got many emails asked, “Why don’t you write in English? I got updates from your blog in language I don’t understand.” I am very, very sorry for that, folks. This blog contains posts in Bahasa Indonesia since I rarely use English for my daily language. I write in English, sometimes, in certain conditions. Heheh…

Actually I have all-posts-written-in-English blog. Well… I didn’t post long articles on it; most of them are quotes or short notes. You could visit Sunshine & Rain if you want to see it.

Regards!